Depression kicked my ass today. I came close to calling the crisis call-line, but I couldn’t make myself punch in the numbers. It worries me that I can’t always reach out for help when I know I need to talk to someone. I keep reminding myself to wait it out. Even a tsunami has to retreat sometime. Nothing is that bad. The trigger was from the past, not the present. Yesterday was a trigger date. I suppose it’s understandable that my first son’s birthday triggers such a feeling of loss in me. KR will be home from work soon. It’s easier to pretend everything is okay when he’s around to distract me. Why am I struggling so much to distract myself lately?

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