Oh my God, I am so stupid! WHY did I just do that?! Someone from crisis management just called to check on me. She asked if I had scheduled an appointment to restart therapy, and I told her I had not. I told her my case manager told me during our last appointment a couple of weeks ago that she would be speaking to a therapist at the center about beginning therapy with me and that I would wait to see what she found out. My next appointment with my case manager isn’t until July 9th. What was I thinking?! I need to talk to someone sooner! I wasn’t thinking — that’s the point. My thoughts are so scrambled right now that I can’t think straight. I just said the first thing that popped into my head. I even told her it wasn’t necessary to call back again when she asked if I wanted them to, before I knew what I was saying. WHY WOULD I DO THAT?? I’m left wondering, “Did my subconscious just take over and sabotage what I attempted to accomplish yesterday? WTF?” I tried calling back, but I just got a message machine. I feel like an idiot, an impossible idiot. Now, I don’t know WHAT to do.