Temporary Lapse in Sanity

Oh my God, I am so stupid! WHY did I just do that?! Someone from crisis management just called to check on me. She asked if I had scheduled an appointment to restart therapy, and I told her I had not. I told her my case manager told me during our last appointment a couple of weeks ago that she would be speaking to a therapist at the center about beginning therapy with me and that I would wait to see what she found out. My next appointment with my case manager isn’t until July 9th. What was I thinking?! I need to talk to someone sooner! I wasn’t thinking — that’s the point. My thoughts are so scrambled right now that I can’t think straight. I just said the first thing that popped into my head. I even told her it wasn’t necessary to call back again when she asked if I wanted them to, before I knew what I was saying. WHY WOULD I DO THAT?? I’m left wondering, “Did my subconscious just take over and sabotage what I attempted to accomplish yesterday? WTF?” I tried calling back, but I just got a message machine. I feel like an idiot, an impossible idiot. Now, I don’t know WHAT to do.


4 thoughts on “Temporary Lapse in Sanity

  1. This happens to me all the time and drives me up the wall, it almost feels like self-sabotage mixed with dissociation. I hope you manage to sort out and appointment sooner

  2. Call them back. Tell them the phone call woke you up and you were groggy and did not answer their questions propertly. Ask them to go through the questions again, now that you are more alert.
    Annie ❤

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